sheer stupidity
wasting money on stuff that u burn
gals that u never get
viewing porn; u actually waste ur own shit
drinking; as much as u love; screw ur liver
a whole life trying to do good yet u know that u are going to burn in hell.
love? its one of the lamest shit i ever heard of, waste of time trying to understand it
never doubt your sexuality unless you wanna end up having a unbalanced hormones system
techno never sounded nice
doing probability sums; are u ever gonna strike the lottery?
buying a brand new stuff only to learn that its a hand down from dad
wearing spandex other than swimming
swear that u will do it but its just all talk
- Nicholas Tan Wei Ming -
Friendster
Spam Me!
♪ Entries
Saturday, September 30, 2006
screwed @
8:04 AM
chatted with her online... but still we are frosty literally able to freeze the whole Pasir Ris Beach & Jurong Lake.... i knew that she was thinking alot alot of things.. i was even thrown aback when i saw her msn nick.. i tired explaining but to no avail...
When she told me that evening that shes gonnabe working on saturday the whole day. I already decided straight on not going to the lanshop on saturday nite cos i had a surprise for her.
Friday, September 29, 2006
screwed @
2:45 AM
while working my mind was thinking about many things.... actually i didnt want her to think too much about what happened but i guess its beyond my control literally. I knew that she's angry at me but there is nothing i can do that made me really pathetic in there. We chatted for awhile but i can sense that she really do not wish to talk to me anymore...... she said that she wanted to work on Thursday evening, frankly i am elated that she's coming to work. Still i smsed her not to come to work cos i am in such a state/condition i cant just see her & make her even sad later on.....
before hand she already told me that she doesnt wish to talk to me in the nite cos she doesnt wish me to be dependent on her should we ......
that nite.... i stared into blank space till pre-dawn before catching some sleep... i woke up late as well.. took a cab to work.
Sandy even joked on me being rich i just smiled & walked away....
Thursday, September 28, 2006
screwed @
2:34 AM
She's still angry with me...
played basketball with Jielun,wan,titan & jason... we went off at around 8pm due to the court being occupied by in-line skating lessons.
we decided to head to TM for a meal.... scorning the whole mall till we reach Ajisen Ramen Rest. i decided to call her for the discount card actually the partial reason of going to the restaurant is oso because of her..
she did pick up & asking me where i were. after confirming her location i rushed down like a lunatic.. jason & gang can vouched that they laughed at the way i ran.
i was stupid enuough not to take the serivce lift & instead running squeezing down the escalators. I just couldnt wait to see her... serious... lolx when i reached there. I slowed down & could sense her anger... i was afraid of being scolded when i opened my mouth. Slowly i creeped to her & i took the card said "thanks" & ran off.... i was actually crying... i dunno i just cant....
i did send her couple of smses & calls. But nothing much....... i was into depression mode. Jason even said i should go home & sleep but i decided to join jie lun singing & drinking..
She called me later... asking where am i but she guess right i was in jbox... we talked awhile before she said that she wants to talk to her friends. We hang up soon...
I never liked singing chinese songs but well this time round i did... many of the sounds i sang were not exactly happy ones.... this bloody mushroom can even sang a funeral song! F*** him! =p we drank quite alot. But i was never tipsy maybe its just me. The rest were having a good time, i was sulking...
i scrambled home at 6am and had a warm bath & slept till late noon... before going to work.... i knew that my performance at work is affected more or less so.
End of Tuesday mess...
Monday, September 25, 2006
screwed @
6:25 AM
Its Monday morning now... I called up MC on Sunday cos i just wanna sleep-in after taking home medications. Honestly my mind is still very much preoccupied with what happened between us. I was also missing her voice many times when i woke up to get water i thought of calling her but my courage just isnt present at the moment.Around later evening she called me & asked me why i didnt go to work & asked me to go see a doctor. The call is shortlived...... when midnite arrives i called her & talked for couple of minutes & we hang up. I spend the whole nite sitting on my bed staring into empty space without much purpose.
End of Aftermath....
Sunday, September 24, 2006
screwed @
9:19 AM
After a nite at the lanshop, i might be infected with the flu bug or lack of sleep caused it. She was working in the morning & as usual i will be going over to meet her for lunch plus working a couple of hours before going off to the lanshop. When i first stepped into the store i was smiling smiling to my friends but when i said "Hi" to her, she oddly didnt reply so i thought she might be working cos i know shes those very diligent in working. Later when we were going to eat while crossing the road, actually i wanna hold her hands but she looked angry so i just kept my distance. We went to the mall & had a meal there.. her body language showed it all, at that time i knew that my fever has gone up. I only asked her one question thru out the meal. That evening was hell.... my head already spinning at miles per hour. With work that made me felt like vomitting,i just told myself to be tough brace thru it. Closer to 9pm we were at the back area doing some work, we had some minor conversation there. It just happened that i was talking to jie lun & he did not acknowledged my question so i sounded impolite & she gotten annoyed by it. I just answered it a sarcarstic manner that i was born like this, which she took it hard. We went seperate ways later after work. I tired calling her & this is the first time she refused to answer any calls. Panicky me i called her via payphone & she told me she doesnt wish to talk to me now. I went to work shortly... the whole morning i was in pain.. i threw up my fillet burger & i couldnt count the sales effectively due to my mind which is elsewhere shutting down. I did send her a sms but i got no reply, dejected i contiuned my work.
End of Horrible Saturday
Thursday, September 21, 2006
screwed @
5:01 AM
things are so unpredictable in life... we were so cool & joyus for the 1st month onwards till our honeymoon period thats coming to an end. i admit that i didnt catch her being angry with me when i went to watch her play in the competition. I really wanted to see her play cos she gave me the inspiration in life. I lost hope a few years back in many things which i loved doing due to many factors but with her the new sense of hope came back. She started being cold & her smses are rare, i do not use that as an excuse because i also had some family issues which are frustrating these coupled together means that i am literally gone case should i breakdown.I sent a message saying that i am pissed of smsing her this is something which haunts me greatly caused thats the reason that made her real mad. Later in the night i went home, she called me. I was still giving her attitude even though deep inside i just want her to know that i dont want her to worry about me & concentrate on her things but my devil in me over ruled. 30mins later i called her again, she was thrown aback by my sudden change of attitude by this time the harm has already been done. We did talk alot, distubring one another. I went to sleep feeling lighter but deep down i know that she's angry, hurt by my actions.
End of the day i gotten angry with her
